{"id":1153,"date":"2018-08-01T09:06:03","date_gmt":"2018-08-01T07:06:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/?p=1153"},"modified":"2018-08-19T18:25:28","modified_gmt":"2018-08-19T16:25:28","slug":"get-off-that-roundabout","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/","title":{"rendered":"Get off that roundabout!"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a blog about how damned bewildering knowing what you want can be. And about how you can choose to turn \u2018must\u2019s\u2019<\/em> into options<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Some time ago, my youngest brother and I were updating the website, to be more specific: we were editing the description of our five day programme on Unencumbered Communication. The original description said that the first two days of this programme (about Attention and about Direction) are about \u2018What do I want?\u2019<\/em> and the three next days (about Power, about Thoroughness and about Assertiveness) are about \u2018And do I really mean it?\u2019<\/em>. I read it, and all of a sudden something didn\u2019t sound right anymore. Basically it is not about knowing what you want, it\u2019s about actually making choices<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

We are in the midst of the summer holidays. What I want to do during these holidays? I want to visit the 7th<\/sup> century monastery on the Irish island of Skellig Michael, I want to look for the alleged pyramid of the sun near Visoko in Bosnia, I want to go horseback riding in the Khan Khentii mountains in Mongolia, I want to go to the Sequoia National Park in California to see the giant sequoia General Sherman, I want to do panda bear spotting in the Wolong National Park in China, I want to go to Liguria in Italy to visit a dear friend, I want to go back to the Greek Island of Karpathos where I worked with the powerful stallion Poupito, I want to go to Mount Kailash in Tibet, I want to enjoy pleasant walks in the Belgian Ardennes, I want to have a drink and a good conversation on a caf\u00e9 terrace in Ghent, I want to spend quality time with my horses, I want to paint the frames of my windows, I want to write about how I combine Solution Focus and working with horses. There are so many things I want to do!<\/p>\n

Yes, it is important to know what you want. You can drown in it though, if you don\u2019t make choices. Not making choices is like continuously driving on a roundabout. Over and over again you pass by the same options and every time you pass by, you may even see even more. All of these options are things you\u2019d like to do, things that may bring something about, things that have been on your wish list for a long time, things that would make you happy. Partially, these things make you dream, and partially they push you into chaos: what can you do with such an abundance of options?<\/p>\n

Everything has its consequences: should you keep on driving on a roundabout, you would just be emptying your fuel tank. After all, I\u2019ve never seen any fuel station in the middle of a roundabout. The only way to get off a roundabout is by choosing a turning and hence finding out whether or not you can do something with this option. If yes, you keep on driving; if no, you choose another option. And you can choose only one option at a time.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the difficult part: we often have the feeling that we are closing a lot of doors by choosing for something. We see choices as \u2018must\u2019s\u2019<\/em>, often prompted by fear. Such choices aren\u2019t genuine choices, since in the background there is this little voice: \u2018Suppose this is a wrong choice?\u2019\u2026 Horses don\u2019t live in indeciveness, nor in right or wrong choices. They go, they do, and everything that comes from that is information they will subsequently do something with. It is what it is, and what you make out of it. Horses show me that wrong choices don\u2019t exist. There are choices, and consequences of choices.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019ve learnt from horses is that making choices is an act of exploration, and that exploring things is a way of finding possibilities. Options. Out of \u2018must\u2019s\u2019<\/em> we\u2019ll often question our choices. \u2018Was it the right choice indeed?\u2019. Basically, there are only two answers to that question: either yes or no. Both answers can bring about a lot of burden: a yes might make someone stick to a choice for reasons of principle; a no leads towards doubt, to dropping the choice, thus getting back on the roundabout. Out of an exploration of options we can ask ourselves \u2013 open \u2013 questions about choices instead of questioning our choices. Questions like: what difference will this choice make? For me? For others? This exploration helps to \u2013 at least in this moment \u2013 genuinely say yes to a choice. Everything that comes forth out of this choice, is information you can subsequently do something with, turning choosing into a never ending exploration journey that will always bring you somewhere. In Ireland, in Bosnia, in Mongolia, in California, in China, in Italy, in Greece, in Tibet, in the Belgian Ardennes, in Ghent or at home with my horses. Or anywhere else. Every choice is all right.<\/p>\n

Right and wrong originate when you see your<\/em> truth as the<\/em> truth. \u2018Right\u2019 is then what ties in with how you see things, \u2018wrong\u2019 is what is different from your view. When \u2018right or wrong\u2019 becomes \u2018different\u2019, differences suddenly become enriching, and everything turns into information: an endless pallet of options, out of which you can co-create your reality by making choices. Every time you choose, you push the start button of creation. Every choice is the start of new options, \u00e1nd the start of dreams coming true: only real choices can bring about accomplishments\u2026<\/p>\n

When you are driving on the roundabout of indeciveness, looking\u00a0at all the options, then know that it\u2019s not the options that are passing by. The options are there, and you choose: will you keep on driving in circles? Or will you put on your direction indicator, give your steering wheel a turn and start a new exploration journey?…<\/p>\n

Out of my former enumeration of things I want to do during the summer holidays I\u2019ve made a choice. You are reading a consequence of that choice right now. Other consequences of that choice are that my windows and my horses have to wait, just like the caf\u00e9 terrace in Ghent, the hike in the Belgian Ardennes and all the other things I also want. After all, I can make only one choice at a time, and that is all right. By choosing to write this blog I\u2019ve started a new journey, I\u2019m curious to find out what options this will bring.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This is a blog about how damned bewildering knowing what you want can be. And about how you can choose to turn \u2018must\u2019s\u2019 into options. Some time ago, my youngest brother and I were updating the website, to be more specific: we were editing the description of our five day programme on Unencumbered Communication. The …","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"table_tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nGet off that roundabout! - Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Get off that roundabout! - Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is a blog about how damned bewildering knowing what you want can be. And about how you can choose to turn \u2018must\u2019s\u2019 into options. Some time ago, my youngest brother and I were updating the website, to be more specific: we were editing the description of our five day programme on Unencumbered Communication. The ...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-08-01T07:06:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-08-19T16:25:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Wendy Van den Bulck\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Wendy Van den Bulck\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/\",\"name\":\"Get off that roundabout! - Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-08-01T07:06:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-08-19T16:25:28+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#\/schema\/person\/0caea3f43a21b63f187fd678baf0d5da\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"general\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/category\/general\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Get off that roundabout!\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/\",\"name\":\"Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden\",\"description\":\"Omgang met paarden vanuit authenticiteit \u2013 voor individuen & organisaties.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#\/schema\/person\/0caea3f43a21b63f187fd678baf0d5da\",\"name\":\"Wendy Van den Bulck\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/author\/wendyvandenbulck\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Get off that roundabout! - Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Get off that roundabout! - Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden","og_description":"This is a blog about how damned bewildering knowing what you want can be. And about how you can choose to turn \u2018must\u2019s\u2019 into options. Some time ago, my youngest brother and I were updating the website, to be more specific: we were editing the description of our five day programme on Unencumbered Communication. The ...","og_url":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/","og_site_name":"Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden","article_published_time":"2018-08-01T07:06:03+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-08-19T16:25:28+00:00","author":"Wendy Van den Bulck","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Wendy Van den Bulck","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/","url":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/","name":"Get off that roundabout! - Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#website"},"datePublished":"2018-08-01T07:06:03+00:00","dateModified":"2018-08-19T16:25:28+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#\/schema\/person\/0caea3f43a21b63f187fd678baf0d5da"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/2018\/08\/01\/get-off-that-roundabout\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"general","item":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/category\/general\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Get off that roundabout!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/","name":"Equoia - training en coaching met ondersteuning van paarden","description":"Omgang met paarden vanuit authenticiteit \u2013 voor individuen & organisaties.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/#\/schema\/person\/0caea3f43a21b63f187fd678baf0d5da","name":"Wendy Van den Bulck","url":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/author\/wendyvandenbulck\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1153"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1153\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1153"},{"taxonomy":"table_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.equoia.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/table_tags?post=1153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}