general

The End of Cautiousness

“Drive cautiously”… this winter it will again be a frequently heard message in traffic information, unless if it were up to me. Don’t we have to take into account circumstances like iciness anymore when we’re on the road? Is this an invitation to recklessly do whatever we want? No, it isn’t. It’s all about the …

Read more

‘Stop’. A Solution Focused and Unencumbered Alternative for ‘No’

In my opinion, one of the most ‘burdened’ words is the word ‘no’. Over and over again, I keep on being amazed at how many connotations this short word brings about: guilt, fear, anger, force, despair, dejection, over-enthusiasm, and I’m most probably still forgetting some. Being a coach & consultant, I often come across it …

Read more

Get off that roundabout!

This is a blog about how damned bewildering knowing what you want can be. And about how you can choose to turn ‘must’s’ into options. Some time ago, my youngest brother and I were updating the website, to be more specific: we were editing the description of our five day programme on Unencumbered Communication. The …

Read more

Do you really mean it? … Horses reveal the answer

‘Stupid horse’ “Not so close! This is such an annoying animal, really tiresome! Here Wim, you can take him. He seemed to be a cute pony, but he is way too pushy.” Wim takes over the lead rope from Els. He lets Djohar – the little four legged tyrant – smell his hand, calmly looks …

Read more

Poupito

Poupito This isn’t a story about working with a horse on the idyllic Greek island of Karpathos where I am in the context of the yearly Solution Focus Summer Retreat. This is the report of working with a young stallion as an illustration of the power of unencumbered communication.   I meet the five year …

Read more

Happiness …

With translated excerpts from “Het klavertje vier. Een fabel over Geluk” – Álex Rovira Celma & Fernando Trías de Bes, 2004 ‘The next morning, Sid got up a little anxious. He sat close to the piece of land he had cultivated and waited. Hours passed and nothing happened. The day passed and still nothing happened. …

Read more

Coincidence

At this very moment, my youngest brother is probably giving an amused wink, thinking “Here we go again…”. We have gorgeous brother-sister conversations about this topic. According to my brother it exists, according to me it doesn’t. Who’s right? Both of us (although my feeling shouts: “Me!”) Coincidence or not, very often things just come together. …

Read more